The Power of "No".

We have all heard it. Sometimes it comes in the form of not allowing permission. As in a parent not allowing you to do something. Or sometimes it comes in the form of “you’re not capable”. Either way I’ve never accepted it very well. I’ve heard no so many times in my life that for most of my teens and twenties I expected it - every time.

Now this is not an attempt to try and call out everyone in my life who I felt didn’t believe in me. Like my parents for instance. I never felt like they didn’t believe in me. They just didn't have the means necessary to help me make my ideas come to life. My teachers and coaches weren’t trying to be negative about my goals. They just hadn’t seen me successful in the goals THEY were setting for me. The combination of my parents saying no to things like fiddle lessons, vocal auditions, 4H etc… and my teachers seeing failing grades and tardies year after year built a precedent of expected failure. In retrospect, I wish they could have seen how the two things were connected. My parents still would not have had a way to fund my extracurricular passions- but maybe they could have all understood my failings. Regardless, none of that has held me back in life. In fact, it has done the opposite. It fueled a fire down deep inside that I would never accept the word “no”.

Now, let’s take a look at that second type of no. The type where someone tells you “you’re not capable”. That one is dangerous. At least when it is thrown at me. I’ve heard that one from an ex husband, bosses, other women, siblings, competitors, negative nillies and jealous people. I heard it many times in the music business. Maybe not always in those exact words but most definitely in actions and tone. You know, that condescending look down someone’s nose at you. The blatant disregard to your presence. I was told I’d never be able to put a band together, I’d never be able to record an album, I’d never have an album played on the radio, I’d never get to perform over seas or in Nashville, I didn’t have the talent to get very far… I heard it all. What these folks didn’t realize is when they discarded my abilities and determination they inadvertently set off a firestorm. I’m sure the look in my eyes alone said “get out of my way and let me do this”. They had no clue that by being haughty and rude to me that they unleashed a beast.

Brings me to a conversation I had yesterday with an acquaintance. We don’t know each other very well, but we have many of the same interests and we share many friends and colleagues. He is a wealth of knowledge in an area I have interest in. It’s a new direction I want to take my photography and he would know all of the players and contacts for it. I have no formal training in that area and to be honest I have some pretty high goals set for myself considering that fact. But I’m not worried. I’ve set my mind to it. It may be 20 years from now before it happens but I am taking the first step to getting there. Someone with his experience could have every right to doubt me. Maybe even go as far as discourage me. He didn’t. He pointed me in the direction I need to go, gave me a few words of advice and told me where the hang ups might happen. But then he ended the conversation with “I think you have the quality of work- all you need is a break”. I’ve been uplifted and encouraged ever since. Thats all it takes folks. He offered a few kind words and guidance. Not once did he speak negatively or try to discourage me. See how easy that is?

So what am I trying to say here? What is my point you ask? Well, it is time I said thank you. Thank you to those you have encouraged me. But also thank you to those individuals who, without realizing it, was encouraging me by being so negative toward me. I’m not giving you credit for my successes- I’m merely pointing out that you failed to discourage me. My “thank you” is simply me saying I appreciated the opportunity you gave me to prove you wrong.

I know there are many young people out there today who keep hearing no. Both kinds of no. I hope that you use every “no” you hear as a challenge. I don’t mean it as challenging your parents when they tell you no. I mean it as a challenge to not let people discourage you from accomplishing your goals. Use it as fuel. Fuel to gain knowledge and experience to improve your chances at fulfilling your dreams. “No” is such a very small word and it usually comes from insignificant people. Don’t let something so small have a big influence in your life.

How my dog taught me to be a better person.

I've had dogs most all of my life. Many have left a mark on my heart and all of them have taught me something either about myself or others. I've had dogs warn me about dating the wrong boy. They have shown me unconditional love when I didn't deserve it and all of them have made me laugh and provided endless hours of entertainment. I've always known dogs were smarter than we give them credit for and feel emotions deeper than we could ever realize. But nothing could prepare me for the personality, intelligence and communication skills of a deaf dog named Conway. 

I had just lost my pet of seven years- "Little Joe" to a terrible incident. I swore I couldn't bear having another pet for a very long time. But the house was so quiet... an eerie quiet that I just couldn't handle. So after about a month I told my husband I wanted to get another dog. But I didn't want just any dog. I wanted to do some searching and find a dog that NEEDED ME as much as I needed him. I began searching thru recommended rescue organizations and found a picture of this sweet, blue eyed, five month old dog who had been dumped at a vet clinic for euthanization because he was deaf. I fell in love with him the moment I saw his picture. I had to save him. I know part of it was that I felt like a failure because I failed to save Little Joe. I let Little Joe down and now I had to vindicate myself by saving this poor little pup and give him a safe, nurturing, loving home. We applied with the rescue organization and after some begging and pleading they agreed to let us adopt the dog they called Bois D'arc... and we renamed Conway. 

The first few weeks were hard. Very hard. I am not going to lie. I am not going to say we had second thoughts because we did not. But we knew that all of our knowledge and history with training pets was not going to work with this dog. It was very frustrating at times. In the first week Conway had picked up on my routine and when I deviated from it even slightly he went into a tizzy... barking relentlessly. I usually had my lunch in the kitchen so when dinner time came and my husband and I would want to sit in the living room and enjoy our meal while watching tv Conway would bark this high pitched, ear piercing scream like bark and I had no idea how to get him to stop it. I just kept pointing my finger at him with a stern look on my face. After about two- three weeks he figured it out. He realized that not every meal would be in the kitchen and I guess he came to terms with it. I had begun to earn his trust and I started attempting to teach him sign language. Some things worked- some did not. But I kept fine tuning my signs until I found something he responded to. To this day, when he wants something he hits my hand with his nose until I start giving signs. When I get to the one that he is requesting (potty trip, treat, bed time etc) he acknowledges the correct sign with excitement. It only took me three years to finally figure out... he was training me. Yep- he taught me how to read his requests, how to follow his rules, how to keep him safe, when to feed him, when to give him snacks. Heck, he even tells me when he is ready for a bath. How arrogant of me to believe I am the alpha dog in this herd or that I am somehow smarter than him. (We have two other dogs as well and they are more than deserving of their own blog post!)

Conway just recently turned four years old. I think back to the day Little Joe passed away and where I was in life at that moment and how broken I was. It dawns on me that I am a different person today. I am changed. I have more patience. I am more caring. I show more compassion and consideration for others and I try to find ways to communicate with those who may not understand me. I am and do all of these things because of a husband who loves me unconditionally and a sweet little deaf dog who is constantly teaching me how to be a better person. A dog who took me and all the pieces of my heart and loved me with all of my faults and shortcomings. He was placed in my life NOT because he needed saving... but because I did. 

The human need to unplug...

We've heard it said in creative ways like "stop and smell the roses" or "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy". These sayings go back centuries, so being caught up in life and work is no new ailment. But lets look at HOW it applies to our lives today. How many of us (guilty) grab our phone when we have a few minutes of down time to check our various social media updates? How many of us (guilty) google every possible piece of information we need from how many quarts in a gallon to "who was that guy that played in that movie with that girl?" We spend hours on our phones looking up new ways to cook meals, new ways to decorate our homes, new fashions to wear to work/school, new diets to lose the weight we probably have put on by sitting in front of a computer/ipad/iphone/iwhatever else ya got all day googling new diets. We pay bills on our phones, we send kids money on our phones, we make appointments on our phones, work on them, play on them, plan on them, waste time on them, read, write, on and on and on and on. We are dependent. Some days I get so caught up in virtual life that I miss things in real life. My eyes have a hard time focusing because they are constantly scrolling upward as fast as my thumb can scroll. I told myself yesterday that today was going to be a day of mental rest. No facebook, or instagram, or Pinterest, or evening news... nothing connected to the internet. And here I am. Image, if you will a day unhooked from anything internet related. Can you do it? Where would you start? If you are like me you couldn't do anything requiring money unless you already had cash in hand. Most of us wouldn't be able to listen to music because our collection now consists of downloaded tunes (hopefully legally downloaded). You could go work on that project (carpenter, quilting, sewing, gardening, remodel etc etc) as long as none of the plans you were using came from the internet. Lunch- no recipes from Pinterest with food you hopefully already have in the fridge due to that cash situation. Can you spend a whole day just turning off the electronics? At the risk of sounding all "conspiracy theorist" I am going to go one step further. We are always hearing about our carbon footprint. But have you thought about your electronic footprint? From the moment you wake up you are leaving an imprint in the electronic world. Do you use your cell phone as an alarm? How about Alexa? Does she know more about you than she should? 

I say all of this not to degrade the usefulness of the internet. But to bring to light the importance of turning it all off now and then. Some days my mind gets so cluttered with gunk I get from a 3x6 screen that my head literally hurts. By the end of the day I am irritable, cranky and overwhelmed with more information than I needed. 

So, this morning I took a drive out to a wildlife conservation area near my home. I left my phone in the truck and I found a nice quiet place to sit. And for about an hour I just sat. I took in the smells, the cool breeze blowing, the sounds of birds and fish jumping out of the water. I took in several deep breaths and it was as if my brain was decluttering itself. It gave me a renewed feeling. I could feel all the stress from the day before slowly leaving me. For a time I even closed my eyes and let my other senses take over. Words like "healing" come to mind for my short visit there. My mind needed healing. My emotions needed healing. 

Now here I am... challenging you. Turn it off. Find your place (don't google it) for healing. Read a book, go for a walk, sit in a quiet room, have a cup of coffee with a friend- because you may be able to look up pictures of beautiful roses on your phone but you can't smell them. At least, not yet anyway...

What makes me tick... An Introduction to Kimberly Manning Images

In order for you to trust me with something as precious as photographs of your life, I feel it is important for you to know what makes me who I am and how I came to be this way. First of all, I am who I am today because I met the right person to bring this version of Kimberly up to the surface. That person would be my husband, Bob. He is an extension of myself in every way. He is my second set of eyes, my light holder, my location scout, my business partner, my voice of reason when I get lost and discombobulated (there is a reason  "bob" is in the center of that word!) and my source of entertainment! We share passions for photography, music, architecture, history, furniture restoration and life! 

I think like most people, I spent my very early adult years (pre Bob) trying to be like everyone else. We all get caught up in fashions, trends and as they say "keeping up with the Joneses". But somewhere in my late 20's I became unappreciative of being like everyone else. It started with my choice of music. I hated what I was hearing on the radio and started seeking out something with more meaning. I became so obsessed with it that I immersed myself in the regional honky tonk scene of country music. It was refreshing, pure, honest and unique. I studied every aspect of the music I could and the next thing you know I am fronting a band of my own, traveling all over the world and the United States performing. I had become an artist. Little did I know what that would mean for my future. Music brought me to Bob and a renewal of spirit and a new direction with my goals and dreams. A better direction. 

One thing that has never changed about me is my inability to accept the word no. So many times in my life I have done things simply because someone told me I couldn't or worse, that I shouldn't.  My sense of determination becomes over powering sometimes - to the point that the  angel/devil on my shoulder rolls their eyes and holds on tight when they see what I am about to do. I kind of like that about myself. I'm not sure my parents liked it very much. 

So here I am. This is me. Determined to be different. Unwavering in my desire to create uniqueness. Searching for the different path and fresh views along the journey. I hope to see YOU along the way...